Do relationships tire you?

[Kresjah]

I would dare say I am not meant for living a single life. I used to try brushing off this feeling with the phrase: "it's just because you're used to not being alone". Insight on the other hand has shown me otherwise. I used to think I was rather anti-social, but have since realized it was really about understanding when I needed "space" and what kind of interactions that I seek.

I don't know, but I'm wondering if I have some need to take care of someone, but also require that someone to have certain traits at the same time (being able to understand me to a certain degree, being completely open and letting me open up completely, be of an accepting nature but not necessarily agree with my views, allowing me space when I need it, having some kind of shared humour).

I'm the kind that, if we've both get sick with something, it usually doesn't bother me much if she sits there doing nothing whilst I care for us. Sorry about the not so delicate example, but it's like the bad food situation; I'll get her a bucket and a glass of water, then I'll head to the toilet and get the uglies out, then come back to empty her bucket and ready it for the next round... then do all that 10 more times for her while being equally struck by it myself.

On a general basis though, I don't really need to tons of social interaction to enjoy a relationship. Of course, I'd like to actually do things together with my partner, but if she simply wants to relax for four straight weeks doing very little, I don't really have any troubles with that. One of the things I cherish in a relationship is the "small, useless and meaningless" moments; I sit on the computer, she watches TV, all of a sudden we're discussing some absurd concept related to bananas, or the contents of some random bag of candy. It lasts for 3 minutes, creates some internal humour, then we fall silent again and go back to our own.

I loathe not having someone to love, although I can't choose who I develop those feelings for. If only I had better understood the balance "hey, I need some space" and "hey, let's go out and do something together?". Heck, knowledge of my disorders might have helped me to better understand when to shut up back when I wasn't single. :p

Now I go around cleaning the house like a maniac for the lack of what is to me a meaningful relationship, and that I can merely be said to have any network left here (no one to go out with me on saturday evening, etc.).

[Nie]

its stressful when the person youre with is stressful. its jsut... something thats relative to your partner.

ive had ones that suck... as hell, some that was really well good, its just balanced for me I guess as is my view towards it

[MM]

I have not been in a relationship I have had my chances but screwed them up or just denied access to me I did not nt women to get to close to me thinking he is ok just to find out that I am an autie and think of me as a freak.  I have had many other issues to deal with I wish to get my s*** together before getting into a relationship.  But I am getting there

[Zara]

I don't really know if it tires me out as haven't got that far with them before.
I do know it's  been stressful for me whenever I feel like i can't communicate with the other person or I don't hear from them for days on end and my mind starts to worry. 

[Remission]

I want to love in the same way I work.

I do contracts, working at one place for at most a couple of months at a time, before I move on to something fresh and new.

And right now, what I need is to have a woman, for a little while, and then move on, and not be concerned with the futile process of prolonging a relationship going stale.

Fresh air and a little movement of the limbs is the surest cure for an ailing spirit.

Let those who have ears hear my words and pay close attention.

 

[Felgen]

My ex-girlfriend tired me, but that was because it wasn't meant to be (and because she automatically assumed that I cheated on her because I didn't respond to one of her text messages within five minutes).

[IndispensablePeaGuy]

My ex-girlfriend tired me, but that was because it wasn't meant to be (and because she automatically assumed that I cheated on her because I didn't respond to one of her text messages within five minutes).

If you aren't wasting your phone credit on this paranoid bint, you're being selfish. Relationships is all about sharing. 

[Aspergers Girl]

My ex-girlfriend tired me, but that was because it wasn't meant to be (and because she automatically assumed that I cheated on her because I didn't respond to one of her text messages within five minutes).

Goodness, and I though I was jealous

Thats prety bad

[Marco]

Dating an aspie girl is refreshing and vice versa. She used to want her down time till one day she asked me if she could spend her down time with me as I helped her relax. Another thing she said to me was that she enjoyed going out with me cos I did what she wanted (her previous b/f called her selfish). I thought she was doing what I wanted.

[MM]

Life is bloody tiring enough sometimes for an aspie/autie unless things are going all right i feel it best not to date

[Balthus]

Raltionships mean a lot more stress. Do any of you have problems coping in one? It's hard to get your own space. It would be a poor decision to get into one imo because I won't see the guy for weeks and not care.

Whats your stance on them?

Have you ever had a boyfriend?

[Nie]

balthus isnt it eh... rude to ask a woman if she has ever had a boyfriend

[Felgen]

balthus isnt it eh... rude to ask a woman if she has ever had a boyfriend

This IS a forum for people with Asperger's.

[Nie]

I guess its a good place for learning too anyway; better that I say it than balthus ending up saying such a thing to someone in public then offending someone or making a date go bad unintentionally right. on second thought, I saw his pic just now, he looks ok enough that I think this can be ignored ehhh...

[Zoe]

i love my bf of a year. i miss him when ever I'm not with him, we spend about 3 days a week together.   but its the hardest most tiering emotionally draining thing ever.  some times i feel so so awkward around him and like hes constantly expecting entertainment or conversation, (if he sits and stares at walls he gets depressed)  that I think hes going to be angry or break up with me if I don't keep a conversation going.
I cant do small talk and when I do ask questions, i get short mean answers or am told not to ask him so many questions because hes not an encyclopedia.  it gets so stressful I can be on the verge of tears for days on end.. and I am desperate to get away so I can cry alone in peace without bothering him.
its exhausting.
but Id rather cry with him holding me.