Do relationships tire you?

[Elselia]

Yes, relationships in general tire me.  The "details" of relationships are very tedious and I have no interest in the suspense at all.

But my relationship with my fiance doesn't tire me.  We were friends as well as in a relationship (at different times), and we made a point of being as communicative as possible from a very early stage, saying all the "unspoken" stuff out loud and understanding each other without having to guess.

At the moment he is someone I admire as well as one who looks after me.  I have told him I am not as good at looking after him as he is looking after me, but he understands that, and, bless his heart, he will wait for me to catch up, and be happy in the meantime.  It is a great motivation to continue becoming more and more functional in the world.  Relationships generally tire me, but my fiance refreshes me.  I hope I refresh him too.

[carbonhalo]

I couldn't live without my partner....




But AAARRGGHHH.... I need a holiday

[Aaryk Noctivagus]

I couldn't live without my partner....




But AAARRGGHHH.... she needs a holiday!

[finsterau]

I prefer living alone. My longest relationship lasted for 4 Years. Most of the time we stressed each other. One year after we seperated, we become the best friends.
If i will join a relationship again with someone, i would prefer different flats. 

[benjimanbreeg]

Life tires me!  My relationship is long distance, and just talking on the phone is very difficult.  But we've seen each other 3 times now.  I was there for nearly 3 weeks this time, and just got back earlier today.  At the beggining of the holiday, it seemed really tough, and I didn't things could ever work.  But we saw her shrink and had a talk, and we coped a lot better.  I'm hopeful we can live together.  She should be moving here next year.  I told her though, that we should be on a break untill then.  Cause for one, its so exhausting having a relatiohship over a phone or computer.  And, I think we need a breather, so I can get myself together, and be refreshed, and be the best partner I can.  I hope it all works out.

Btw, we're still friends yeah Lotusblossum?

[lotusblossom]

Life tires me!  My relationship is long distance, and just talking on the phone is very difficult.  But we've seen each other 3 times now.  I was there for nearly 3 weeks this time, and just got back earlier today.  At the beggining of the holiday, it seemed really tough, and I didn't things could ever work.  But we saw her shrink and had a talk, and we coped a lot better.  I'm hopeful we can live together.  She should be moving here next year.  I told her though, that we should be on a break untill then.  Cause for one, its so exhausting having a relatiohship over a phone or computer.  And, I think we need a breather, so I can get myself together, and be refreshed, and be the best partner I can.  I hope it all works out.

Btw, we're still friends yeah Lotusblossum?

((hugs)) sure were friends! You rock !

I just suck at writing emails, I am a crap friend   

I am going to try and go to the aspie village meet up on the 6th dec, are you going? It will be great if you are 

I am so glad things are going well with your gf, it will be fab when she moves here.

[benjimanbreeg]

((hugs)) sure were friends! You rock !

I just suck at writing emails, I am a crap friend   

I am going to try and go to the aspie village meet up on the 6th dec, are you going? It will be great if you are 

I am so glad things are going well with your gf, it will be fab when she moves here.
[/quote]

you rock too   haha, you're not a crap friend!

Yeah, i'd like to go.  If you could keep me updated on that, it would be great.

Thanks   Yeah, I hope so!

[Aaryk Noctivagus]

What's all this 'rock' business? Is it stim time?

[Elselia]

* Elselia giggles

(Thanks for the IRC-style emotes, AspergersGirl. you rock too. )

Off-topic: There's an ASPIE village? :O~  Aspies get villages!!

Topical: I've realised I'm still readjusting to who I am.  After a lifetime of pretending (+ being repeatedly told not to selfdiagnose) I realise my personality is very much made up of becoming what I think other people want me to be.  Impacting on relationships, including with my fiance...



I guess that can be a positive as well as a negative...  Uurrghh such a bad day today...

[MissNewZealand]

Family relationships are very overwhelming. My family sends constant phone calls while I am in college, their competition for my attention, constant phone calls caused me a meltdown last night. I ended up having to disconnect and shut off my phones, then rest.

I dunno, but family relationships have too many demands, and makes you feel guilty for not meeting their demands. I find that I need breaks, too much work!

[AspieMeygan]

realationships don't generally tire  me , however the realationship i have with my parents and close family is very complicated and i frequantly find myself tired and annoyed at the thought of going home ..
with friends and boys , i seem to have endless stamina towards conversation's and social occasions.

[Qaletaqa]

They don't really tire me - I find them interesting - but they scare me, i'm to scared to get hurt once again so I tend to avoid them. I was once "dumped" because I had zoster and didn't wanna kiss her because it's contagious and once because she thought it took me to long to get to the "intimate part", you know what I mean. BTW i'm talking about two different girls/women here.
If I do like someone, then I have to know them first before I ask them out, wich I haven't done in 8 years, I did have a crush, or fallen in love with 3-4 women who were older then me - I tend to fall for older women because they are more mature then women from my age (there are exceptions) - but didn't have the guts to ask them out just out of fear of beeing rejected or making me look like a fool.
Friends and family think there is nothing to be feared and there will be more "opportunities", but yeah they aren't the ones that start stuttering or sweating like hell.

Family relationships is a whole other thing, I don't have problems with those, they know who I am and they are aware that I have Asperger Syndrome.

Friendships, I don't really have any because these do tire me, especially when two friends are fighting, they tend to come to me and ask wich side i'm on.
I also don't bother with making friends because..... well i'm not good at making new friends, friendship is something that grows and with me it takes a long time, from several months to a year.

I could write a book on this lol.....

[Remission]

How could I ever get tired of cute girls?   

[dhpmathmusic]

To be honest, I don't know.  I have never been in a relationship with a woman before, and I am clearly not gay or bi.  As for friendships, no; I do not find that tiring; however, there are times when I want to isolate myself from everyone. 

[zenemu]

As long as you are with somone who you an be yourself with, then no, a relationship shouldn't be tiring. Granted there is always some comprimise in any relationship. Where AS is concerned that can be a difficult thing but it is something you simply need to work at and you also need to make a conscious effort to be very aware of your partners feelings and the work they are putting into the relationship too. That sounds tiring, but I suppose it becomes second nature (literally) after a while.